Just Vibrations. Nothing more. Nothing Less.
The list of screwy practise tests continue...I keep achieving lower and lower scores...what the fuck is going on??....I even started praying...I didnt like to pray...but now I m forced to reckon with it.
It seems to be an inexplicable want for something where not getting it is a travesty...a unbearable tragedy. Such want is disgusting from one perspective and inspiring from another. It shows that the creature is alive yet bound to the chains of life. Sorry for the dramatic description about a graduate exam but this is Madhu, bear with me. I am even forced to reckon with God in a new way because of this exam.
In my original belief (CoD) I believed that the whole setup was already written...the path and destiny already set...All we had to do was walk through it...Then In the last samurai I heard a line..Some guy asks someone..."You think that is our Destiny??"...then the someone replies..."A man does what he can till his destiny is revealed"...The setup changes at this point from a director watching his movie (where we are but one of his many characters who walk in pre defined paths)...to the living room of the creator of an interactive game sitting with you watching you play his game...and You pray for guidance.
The Christians believe it is all a test and the harder the journey the more rewarding the end...Buddhists dont give a shit...Hindus probably believe it is but a part f my karma...Maybe the weed burnt up my brain... Maybe I need to understand there is a higher power and bow...hmmm...Pray for me.